Posted in Own Story

Life’s Tough

What makes you strong? It’s when everything falls apart, when all the decisions you’ve chosen has been a mistake. Probably the worst is when nobody can ever comfort you or understand how you feel. Your emotions are tangled from being obnoxious to being doomed. It’s when life is being unpleasant to you, and you have no other way out than just to hold onto yourself and placate your rage.

What a depressing day. 😦

Posted in Health & Medicine, Own Story

On Nursing

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I definitely miss working in a hospital. For four years, I did endure all the hardships of Nursing school just to finish my degree. After passing the Licensure Exam, it seems perfect. You got your license and you’re ready to go.

You think you can practice your profession immediately and then have a permanent job. Philippines then has a huge amount of nurses, it was at its peak. We have to undergo volunteer-ship for 6 months and get a certain kind of certification that says you practiced your profession and you can put on your resume. I went for the volunteership program, I did it with the provincial hospital in our town. Unfortunately, I was not able to finish it, for some personal reasons, I dare not tackle here.

Nursing is a profession that is suitable not only for the skilled ones, but to those people who has the heart to help other people. Maybe, in our country, it was a profession for people who can afford the expensive tuition fees.it’s so funny because you spent thousands or millions in your education to finish Nursing school and after getting all licenses and certificates you end up not getting a job or just going for a different field, or worse, practice your nursing profession with just a tiny amount of salary.

Working to care for others not only boost your pocket, but your soul as well. Not in the Philippines. Yes, we know for a fact that we need to help people, we swore to aid those who are ill and suffering from different kinds of illnesses. That was in the past. The reality is, we need to live. And to live, you have to work. And when you work, you have to be paid good. This is the scenario. You work as a staff nurse in a certain ward. Let’s say, you have 20 patients. You get paid about a minimum of 14,000php , that’s about $340 a month. Yes, a month! So in 30 days you are getting a total of $12 a day and you are looking after a lot of patients. How will you live with that? Other graduates resort to getting a job as a telemarketer in a call center and mostly leave the country.

Physicians will treat you as their slaves, forgive me, but not all. I am talking through experience. They talk to you as if you are such a lowlife and you’re being enslaved. Some will embarrass you when you didn’t carry out a specific order (Yeah, you have 20 patients, I know we are dealing with lives but, minor mistakes are just ok, right?). And they call themselves professional doctors, yeah right.

I love this profession. I don’t want to be a hypocrite. Aside from the fact that it pays so good especially when you practice it here in North America, I can grow as a person( or let me rephrase that, it pays your bills good). Helping others enriches your being. Every gratitude that you receive from your patients wipes all the tiredness away, there’s a sense of fulifillment. I hope I’ll be able to practice my profession soon.

Posted in Food & Drinks, Own Story

All About Food

I love cooking and of course, I love eating. I love anything about food. Probably because I came from a family with good cooking skills, it’s in the genes. Cooking for other people makes me happy, maybe I have some culinary talent, or so I think, who knows? My boss would always say I am a good cook. Maybe it’s the one field I should explore cause I love doing it.

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Posted in Own Story

So Winter is Here.. Finally!

After being in Canada for more than two years, seeing the snow is still a novelty. Every time the winter comes, I am still excited but a little frustrated. It’s the time of the year when you get to bundle up and endure the extreme cold weather. I remember one time when it was pretty cold and my feet were frozen that I can’t even wiggle my toes anymore, it just sucks. I thought I am going to lose my toes!

What’s more frustrating is everybody goes shopping and the malls are packed with people especially on the weekends. They’re rushing to buy some presents. As Christmas draws near, I am missing home. Christmas in the Philippines is not as white as it is in Canada but my family and friends are there.

 

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Posted in Love, Own Story

Men Are from Mars (Repost from my old site)

I remember posting this about 4 years ago, this is sick. I can’t believe I used to be this girl, so hurt and wounded. But now, it’s all good. It just makes me twitch a little when I remember all the pain I’ve had in the past. It was all a great lesson that I learned in the art of what we call, LOVE. I know I sounded cheesy then and a little grammatically insufficient but the pain was there. It was real and it made me the person I am today.

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“Well, so to speak, i remember all my lessons in my Greek mythology class. Mars, also known as Ares is the god of war. Men in my own sense of description, are heartless creatures made to bring suffering to the female class. Their ruthlessness is so obvious that sometimes, we the females, don’t seem to notice. Why? Because we are madly in love with them. We offer all our bits and pieces to them, even the very edge of our hairs are devoured by these insensitive beasts. Hmm… Yes, women are from Venus, we were born to bring love and joy to the male gender. We were made to serve them, we satisfy their machismo. We pamper them with such things, but it is so unfair for us to be taken for granted by them. We are brutally abused, the worst is emotionally. Insensitive. Yes, they are. Will you not agree with me? Some women are victimized by their capricious. Agree? Hey! Can’t you be serious in your relationships? We’re not toys! We’re not your robots. Curse all wicked men on earth, those that are so damn inconsiderate and self-centered that they fail to understand the hardships of women just to please them, love them, worship them. Men indeed, are from Mars…. Heartless, insensitive, brutal, selfish and blind. “

Posted in Current Events & Politics, Own Story

AMALAYER…AMACONFUSED!

The recent viral video of a girl who went hysterical over something at a LRT station somewhere in Manila, Philippines was, how do we call it in our modern language? Epic. Yes, we see this everyday. People do it everywhere. Once in your lifetime, one of us has done what the girl has done in that video. The only difference was, she was caught on video doing that “unacceptable behavior” and people saw it, judged it after. Netizens criticized the girl’s rampage and bullied her online. So, what’s the difference?

Society nowadays is tricked by everything they see on video. It may seem like it but, the whole story might not be present in that certain medium. It’s just a glimpse of the whole story. We don’t have the right to judge the person who’s having an unacceptable way of dealing with situations as someone to be crappy. I lose my temper, we all do. 

What’s confusing with the general public is, whatever you do or, whatever you say there’s always somebody behind you who judges you. So what are you going to do? I believe that there’s always a price for the stuff that you do, the way you treat other people and the ways you face any kinds of situation that arise.

So, don’t lose yourself…or else #amajudgeyou. Makes sense? Haha! I hope.

Posted in Own Story

Weekend’s Over, Hello Winter!

It was far, the nicest weekend for me. On Friday night, we went to a Latin dance club named Caliente. There was a free salsa lesson, I really can’t complain. Most of the people in the club were enjoying the new steps, it was like the time of their lives. We danced and danced and danced. I had one tequila shot, and believe me, it was like a bomb about to explode in my mouth. I’m not a drinker, cause I get itchy when I drink too much alcohol, I just want to try, not to be left out. It was such a good night for all of us, except for my feet that really hurt wearing my super high-heeled dancing shoes.

Saturday. A little stagnant, it is. Just having a quiet time and relaxing, too tired from partying on Friday night. We decided to go Quebec side to buy some new pieces of appliance for my friend’s house. The oddities when you go to a French-speaking province, you’re like lost in space. You enter a store and they will greet you, Bonjour! Ca va bien? Well of course, we would reply, Ca va bien, merci. End of conversation. Bravo! You managed to at least communicate a little…and the next thing we’ll do? Run away. Haha!

The weather was bad that day though. It started to snow. Ahhh crap, this is the part when you hate that there’s the season called winter. When you grew up in a tropical country like the Philippines, you would be really excited to see snow for the first time, well, that was three winters ago. The excitement of seeing snow changed to being pissed off when it’s so cold and you have to wear winter clothes and bundle up, just like a mascot.

So Saturday night, Louis was supposed to come. But he was so tired from partying with friends and can’t make it. Was a little mad at him because he didn’t text me earlier to let me know he couldn’t make it. We just decided to have lunch on Sunday.

Sunday. I didn’t sleep well, it must be the bed or that awful nightmare I had. It was like a horror movie. There was an undertaker and there was a corpse. That’s just weird. I hate having zombie-ish dreams.

12:30pm. Louis’ supposed to come and pick me up. No sign of him. I texted. No reply. I called four times. Nobody’s picking up. What the hell is happening here? So afterwards he replied. O course, he just woke up. At 1 o’clock, he just woke up! And of course I am pissed off. And afterwards he just picked me up and we went to eat at Monkey Joe’s. It was his treat. Maybe he want’s to make up for being late. We were happy, at least.

And Monday came, I woke up 15 minutes before my work and just to see this. Oh, Winter! Here you come again, making our lives harder. We just have to keep up with you.

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Posted in Own Story

Pangarap ng Inakay

“Ang Munting Inakay”

May isang inakay na ibig lumipad

Ngunit pakpak niya’y di pa maikampay.

“Bayaan mo anak, ikaw ay magsanay.”

Ang sabi ng inang siyang nagbabantay.

Ang munting inakay na nais matuto

Sa gilid ng pugad ay paluksu-lukso!

At isang araw nga pakpak ay gumalaw

At lumipad na siya sya sa malayong lugar.

     Sarap magbalik-tanaw. Ito yung unang tulang tinuro sa akin ng lola ko nung ako’y maliit pa. Naaalala ko kailangan pa naming mag-record sa radyo gamit ang tape na uso pa noon. Tuwang-tuwa yung lola ko kapag narinig na nya yung matinis kong boses na halos bumiyak ng baso. Ako naman, nasisiyahan din, tatalon-talon pa.

     Ilang taon na ba ang nakalilipas simula nung matuto akong itula yan? 22 taon na pala. Si lola ang nagtyagang mag-alaga sa akin. Kapag papasok ako sa school, talagang sisiguraduhin nyan ako ang pinakamalinis sa lahat. Naaalala ko pa noon na dalawang piso lang ang baon ko, kung hindi ko binibili ng papel, binibili ko ng pomelo o yung ginataang mais.

     Palipat-lipat ako ng school noon. Nag-aral ako sa Chinese school (may lahi kasi kaming Chinese), kaya ayun, kahit papaano, gusto nila akong matutong magsalita ng konti. Madali naman akong makapag-adjust sa mga bagong schoolmates ko, siguro ganun lang talaga ako, mahilig makipagkaibigan. Tapos, to make the story short, ika nga, nung Grade 5 ako, lumipat na naman ako ng school, ngayon sa public school naman. As usual, nakapag-adjust naman ako ng maayos, dumami na naman lalo ang kaibigan ko. Pagkatapos ng graduation sa grade school, ayun lilipat na naman kami. Lumipat na kami ng La Union. So, doon na ako mag-aaral ng high school.

   Pagkagraduate ko ng high school, sabi ng tita ko kumuha daw ako ng Nursing. So dahil pag-aaralin nya ako, sabi ko sige, ito lang naman ang course na walang masyadong Math. Unang taon, okay naman. Pangalawa, dumadami na ang return demos, inuulan na kami ng madaming activities. Summer classes, kailangan na naming magsimulang magduty sa mga hospitals. Sobrang kabado pero andoon ang excitement. Hindi mo alam kung ano ang ieexpect mo sa bawat duty mo sa hospital. Hindi naman sa pagmamalaki pero, alam ko namang matalino ako papaano at hindi slow. So I graduated with flying colors. After graduation, siyempre andyan na ang pressure ng Board Examination. Pumunta kami sa Baguio ng mga kaibigan ko para doon magreview. Ang daming pressure. Hindi mo na alam kung ano ang uunahin.
To make the story short, pumasa ako sa NLE, at naging isang Registered Nurse. Di talaga maipaliwanag ang tuwang mararamdaman mo kapag pumasa ka ng Board Exam. Parang lahat ng paghihirap at pagpupuyat mo ng ilang taon, worth it. So, natapos ang oath taking. Ito ang Malaking tanong, saan magsisimula?

   Sinubukan kong magvolunteer sa isang malaking hospital kaso grabe naman ang mga staff nurses talaga, sa mga volunteers nila inaasa ang lahat. Ni wala ka na ngang bayad, pahihirapan ka pa. Hindi naman ako nagrereklamo kaso, sana marunong naman sila makiramdam. Sinubukan ko rin mag-apply sa mga bansa sa Middle East pero di rin ako pinayagan ng pamilya kong pumaroon dahil natatakot daw sila.

   Di naglaon, sa ilang buwang pagiging tambay at unemployed, nakatanggap ako ng tawag mula sa tita ko, sabi nya, may mag-iisponsor na daw sa akin papuntang Canada. Tinanong ko naman kung sino at ano’ng trabaho. Sabi nya, Live-in Caregiver daw. Syempre, Filipino mentality, ma-pride di ba? Sabi ko, bakit ako magke-caregiver? Eh RN ako dito sa atin! Ayoko nga! So mahaba-habang diskusyon ang nangyari. Naipaliwanag naman nya na “stepping stone” daw ang pagpasok ko at after 2 years, pwede na akong magkaroon ng open permit at pag naging Landed Immigrant na, mas madaming privileges na ang pwedeng gawin. Pwede nang mag-aral o magtrabaho bilang nurse.

    So, nakapunta nga ako ng Canada bilang Live-in Caregiver. Mabait naman yung nagsponsor sa akin kasi kahit di pala nya ako kailangan, inilakad lang nya ang papers ko para makapunta ako dito. Pagdating ko dito, naghanap agad kami ng bagong employer ko. Nakahanap naman kami sa tulong ng agency. Pagkatapos ng 2 weeks ko sa Canada, may trabaho na ako agad. May pagka-demanding lang itong amo kong ito. Sa una, ang hirap. Kasi syempre sa ospital nag-aalaga ka lang naman ng bata sa konting panahon, pero dito kasama mo sila buong araw. Masakit sa ulo lalo’t makukulit at hindi nakikinig sa’yo.

   Minsan kailangan talagang maging matyaga tayo sa bawat bagay na ginagawa natin sa buhay at wag pairalin ang pride. Alam ko sa sa pagtitiis kong ito, may mabuting ibubunga. Tiis pa ng konti at makakaahon din. Wala lang maisip na isulat. Naaalala ko lang ang lola ko. Sana mapasalamatan ko sya sa pag-aalaga nya sa akin. Pati na rin si tita na nagpaaral sa akin at syang dahilan kung bakit andito ako ngayon. Alam ko sa tamang panahon makakamit ko rin ang mga pangarap ko sa buhay, ito pa lang ang simula ng lahat. Sana patnubayan ako ng nasa Itaas. Alam ko andyan lang Siya kahit ano’ng oras na kailangan ko sya. Nakakalungkot mang isipin, iniisip ko parang nag-iisa ako ngayon.

Posted in Own Story

Blogging Again After a While

It’s been a while. I miss doing this. I love writing everything that goes through my mind. Being able to say what you want through writing, gives you a louder voice. Play with words, experiences and own views. It may not be appealing to some but at least you were able to take your point into a piece of artwork, at least, it was yours. It’s free.